Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Two Women Talking In Heaven


Two women were talking in Heaven.

1st woman: Hello Wanda!

2nd woman: Hello Sylvia! How did you d-i.e?

1st woman: I froze to d-e.a.t.h.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It was not so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy and ended up d-y.ing of a peaceful d-e.a.t.h. What about you?

2nd woman: I d-i.e.d of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally, I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and d-i.e.d.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.

It’s not a true story, it’s funny, so I just had to share it here.

Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

Don’t Step on the Ducks

Three women d-i.e together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, “We have only one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has seen all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes
up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on… very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

Saint Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!