This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.

“Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?”

“Dogs can’t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I’ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick you.”

“Okay,” says the guy.

He turns to his dog. “Okay, fella. Tell me – what is on top of a house?”

“Roof!” The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

“THAT ain’t talking! Any dog can bark!”

“Okay, boy. Tell me – how does sandpaper feel?”

“Ruff!”

“What the hell you tryin’ to pull mister?”

“Okay, okay,” says the man.

“One more question, please. Okay buddy, tell me – who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?”

“Ruth”

The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar,

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