If you are reading this, you probably are one of those people who tell a little lie once in a while. Very few of us give it a second thought to the consequences of not telling the truth to our loved ones.
Whether it is everyday or once in a year, lying to people we care about and the ones that care about us has its implications. This is despite the fact that some people believe there are cases where you lie to protect them.
It Does Not Stop At One
Nobody stops at one chip or one slice of bread or one spoon of chilli. In the same way, lying tends to not stop once it starts. Dishonesty does not only grow, but also tends to become an addiction—especially when you feel you are slippery enough to have gotten away with some.
As time goes on, there becomes a tendency to lie just about every time you find yourself in a jam, because it looks easier than telling the truth. When you do this to your loved ones, you are creating a habit you cannot let go of, subjecting them to more dishonesty from you.
Then Trust Begins To Flicker
Thanks to evolution, humans are increasingly able to sense it when people are lying to them. You may seem smooth with it and not break a breath when you drop it, but there are certain sensitive people who will be able to tell you are not being honest.
Even if they are not sure, it will already create that feeling that you are lying to them. They may not be angry that you lied to them, but that they will have a problem trusting you going forward. The more you do strive to become Abrie Krueger, the more the trust pillar is shaken.
Lying is so bad that it creates some sort of tension. When you should relax and go about with your life, you start to keep a constant running list of who knows what and what you said to whom.
Among other things, that can turn out to be so isolating that you want to socially distance yourself from the people you always lie to. The same goes for the receivers, who may feel the need to set away from you over fears of dishonesty and manipulation. Couple this with your own issues and you might end up detached from the love pipeline.
This affects both the teller and the hearer. Telling lies has a way of making people feel insecure. Because trust and safety go hand in hand, the net repercussion of telling white lies is a deep sense of insecurity.
Over time, it permeates all of our relationships, from professional to platonic and casual to romantic. In fact, when we tell these lies, we are more likely to feel insecure than the person we are trying to play a fast one on. But sometimes, mutual insecurity is a given.