Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Johnny’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Johnny, of course, though he did.
Johnny’s mother wanted Johnny to reflect on his behaviour over the last year.
“Go to your room, Johnny, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.”
Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1: Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Johnny. Johnny knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2: Dear God, this is your friend Johnny. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend, Johnny. Johnny knew that this wasn’t true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
Letter 3: Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Johnny. Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Johnny wrote a fourth letter.
Letter 4: God, I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you, Johnny. Johnny knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Johnny was very upset.
He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Johnny’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Johnny looked very sad.
“Just be home in time for dinner”, Johnny’s mother told him.
Johnny walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Johnny went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Johnny bent down and picked up a statue of Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Johnny began to write his letter to God.
Letter 5: God, I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!!