An elderly guy gets invited to a Halloween party at a farm just a mile outside town.

He has a little too much to drink, and being responsible, decides to walk home and come back to get his car later.

On the walk home, he suddenly has a rumble in his stomach. He has to take a p)))) immediately.

He notices he is walking by a pumpkin farm and in his inebriated state, gets an idea.

He hurries down a row of pumpkins, uses his keys too hastily cut the top off of one, and uses the gourd as a makeshift toilet.

He then replaces the top, and giddily runs away.

The next day he is walking back to pick up his car.

He realises he is passing the pumpkin farm, and remembering what he did, feels embarrassed and swears to never drink again.

A year goes by and our guy is once again invited to a Halloween party at the farm outside town.

He happens to be passing the pumpkin farm, notices a pickup truck in the driveway and gets an idea.

He parks and goes up to the farmhouse, takes a deep breath and knocks.

A farmer the size of a mountain answers the door.

Arms as big as logs and legs twice as thick. A piece of straw hangs out of his mouth, and a cowboy hat sits off to one side of his head.

“Hello sir”, the guy begins.

“You don’t know me, but I need to apologise. Last year, at my lowest point, I used one of your pumpkins as a toilet. But I saw the error of my ways and haven’t had a drop of booze since. To thank you, and apologise, I’d like to buy some pumpkins. How about 5? Or 10? Tell you what, fill the trunk of my car with as many as you can and I’ll pay double”.

The giant farmer just stares at him.

The straw moved back and forth from one side of his mouth to the other.

His eyes look deep in thought as he removes his hat and rubs his head.

He then takes a step back into the house and hollers:

“Hey zeke. Zeke. You were right, grannies pie did taste like sh****t!”