A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a “Dear John” Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who the F— you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Ricky.
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
“To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that
I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don’t be upset -I shall be home before midnight.”
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
“My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis Coach. He is young, virile and like your secretary, is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.”