My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matty had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, “No.”
I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Matty, are you sure you did not have an accident?”
“No,” he replied.
I just knew that he must have, because the smell was getting worse. Sooooo… I asked one more time, “Matty, did you have an accident?”
Matt jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, “SEE, MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!!”
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified!
Some kind people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!!
Another old gentleman stopped us in the parking lot as we were leaving, bent over to my son and said, “Don’t worry son, my wife accuses me of the same thing all the time… I just never had the nerve to make the point like you did.”
An elderly lady decided to celebrate her 70th birthday by spending the night in an expensive hotel. When she left the next morning, the receptionist gave her a $250.00 bill. She exploded and wanted to know why the charge was so high.
“It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.” The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate’, so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
He further stated that she may have seen one of the hotel’s shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best artists in the world here,” said the director. “But I did not attend any of these shows,” she said.
“Well, we have them and you could,” replied the manager. Regardless of the arrangements mentioned by the manager, she replied: “But I did not use it!” And the manager responded with his standard answer. After a few minutes of discussion with the manager, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to her. The manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
“But madam, this check is for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged You $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the very surprised Manager.